- General reality shock common to all transitions from the dream world-->normal consciousness.
- Nearly everything in the dorm is gray - the walls, the floor, the furniture, the shelves, etc. The foot of my bed faces a large window, which views an overcast sky common to a Baltic Autumn. Thus, I wake up to a very still, gray environment, which stands in sharp contrast to my high-energy dreams.
- I tend to dream about home, or people from home, unconscious of the fact that I am in Tartu without them.
Waking up is accompanied by acute depression, which usually dissipates as I become active. It is currently taking longer than normal to go away, motivating me to write about it. I think this is due to the nature of my dream, which was about my mom.
I dreamt that I was watching harmless funnel clouds out my bedroom window in Tartu, when my mom walked in and joined me. She tickled me, saying, "Ooo a tornado is going to get you!" I giggled and we fell onto my bed together. She put her arm around me and I put my head on her shoulder, when I suddenly burst into tears. Her teasing had brought me back to childhood for a moment, as if I were experiencing our relationship from that time again. I had forgotten what that felt like, and how safe and bright she seemed.
I love my mom, whose eyes look a little more tired today, and who needs me now, too.
I read your blog yesterday and was so touched I couldn't respond. It brought back memories of you and I sitting in my chair reading. We would pick up about 30 books a week from the library. You questioned EVERY detail of the stories:) You desperately wanted to read, which you did by the age of 4. I miss the days when you would crawl up on my lap and we would cuddle and rock. I miss lying on you're bed every night at bedtime and talking about everything! I was so anxious to teach you everything I knew when you were born, not realizing how much you would end up teaching me:) I DO need you. I always have and always will! Even though I miss those days, I love who you've become, and what a wonderful relationship we have. Things will get better there, and you'll have some great stories to share. I may look a little more tired (comes with age), but I will always be here for you! I love you so much Jamie!!!!!
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