Tuesday, March 26, 2013
The color of Tartu
One of my favorite things about Tartu are the colors. I hope that these pictures provide a taste of Tartu's special vibrance.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
English proficiency and social recognition among Tartu internationals
Before coming to this small town attracting students from all over the world, I studied cultural anthropology and a bit of post-colonial theology and religious studies. All three disciplines stressed how the dominance of the 'West' has played out - be it politically, culturally, linguistically, or theoretically within academic discourse (which aren't perfectly discrete or continuous). The general idea is that power imbalances create macro or global spheres that are different from the many local spheres, often causing tension between them. In other words, globalization has included establishing certain norms and points of reference for understanding, communicating and interacting with (be it economically, politically, etc.), and thereby influencing the plurality of local perspectives. Since no norm or point of reference can ever be objective, the scales will always tilt toward one side, which, in the context of my studies, has been this ambiguous blob we call 'the West.' Safe within an American university setting, detached from any actual experience, I naively thought that I had a grasp on what this was like.
An Estonian friend, Silver, once shared his invented concept of gastronomic dualism to make a point in class. We can study theoretical aspects of eating all we want, but it will never make us feel full. Studying something academically will always be different than experiencing that something. When I came to Tartu, living in an enormous dorm filled with people from all over, plus being the only native English speaker among the group of Master's students in my year, I experienced a piece of this power imbalance on the ground level. To my surprise, it manifested in a relation between linguistic and social aspects of student life. Sadly, I'm not sure if I would have recognized this relation without the help of two good friends with keener eyes and different experiences than I, because as a native English speaker, I had it pretty easy.
Early on, Krraka invented two important concepts:
An Estonian friend, Silver, once shared his invented concept of gastronomic dualism to make a point in class. We can study theoretical aspects of eating all we want, but it will never make us feel full. Studying something academically will always be different than experiencing that something. When I came to Tartu, living in an enormous dorm filled with people from all over, plus being the only native English speaker among the group of Master's students in my year, I experienced a piece of this power imbalance on the ground level. To my surprise, it manifested in a relation between linguistic and social aspects of student life. Sadly, I'm not sure if I would have recognized this relation without the help of two good friends with keener eyes and different experiences than I, because as a native English speaker, I had it pretty easy.
Early on, Krraka invented two important concepts:
- "Cultural harrassment" - The persistent advances made by non-native English speakers to hang out with native English speakers to improve their English. This can result in a number of negative effects on the native English speakers, such as social exhaustion, or delusions of grandeur.
- What I will call here "the English effect" - When a native English speaker is saying something mediocre, boring, unhelpful, or even incoherent, but because of their perfect English, has an alluring effect on non-native speakers, easily leading them to false conclusions of their intelligence, charm, and other positive, valued aspects of personality.
Later, another close friend shared with me a conclusion that she and a friend from her own culture made in a discussion of social status in Tartu. Before I list them I want to mention that I consider social status as something measured by recognition (being influenced by semiotics). Recognition happens in different ways - saying hello to a person, smiling at them, approaching them, asking them for help or advice, learning about them, opening up to them, acknowledging their identity in any way, etc. Therefore the assumption is that the degree of recognition (in terms of how many people recognize someone and how deeply this recognition goes) is an indication of their social status. Of course, we could argue that recognition can manifest negatively, such as in a social outcast or scapegoat. But that is a rare case and I haven't encountered that here.
The conclusion that my friend came to is that there are two major variables that contribute to increasing social status here: good English and being European. Of course, this is a simplification and there are many exceptions, because there are obviously more variables at work than these two alone, and not all the same variables affect everyone in the same way - English competency and being European may not even be remotely influential for some people(s) here. I haven't put much thought or observation into the European aspect, but I included it as food for thought for any interested readers.
The linguistic aspect is just a general influence that others and I have observed not only socially in that those with good English appear to gain recognition more easily and quickly, but psychologically in that it is often internalized by both sides. While people with these advantages are less conscious of this power imbalance, it seems self-evident that more social recognition could reinforce higher self-confidence, cyclically reinforcing a higher social status (everyone knows how effective self-confidence is socially). [Exceptions come to mind here already though, as not everyone enjoys a lot of social recognition, many are most comfortable with a certain limited/balanced amount, and some even react adversely to it]. On the other hand, those non-native speakers who think that their English is not up to par often feel generally embarrassed about this fact, especially when talking to native speakers. In fact, I've been told that being nervous about one's English-speaking makes it even more difficult to speak it, becoming a vicious cycle of inadequacy and causing them to withdraw and make less of an effort to socialize. Thus, this internalization only reinforces lesser visibility. It was almost impossible to convince my friend (who was afraid of approaching an American friend of mine) that we pay very little attention to English mistakes and see nothing embarrassing or shameful about them - in fact, we enjoy accents and different ways of saying things.
These issues may be stronger during an initial phase of getting acquainted, and might fade a bit as people get to know each other over time and feel more comfortable opening up. However, I don't think they disappear completely, and I think that those who have such advantages should try to be more conscious of this power imbalance (it's easy not to recognize if it's not a problem for you). One thing I learned to do early on is always speak clearly and bit slower (especially in class when people don't have the opportunity to stop you as easily). It also helps to be approachable and welcoming by recognizing others - say hello, make the first move and initiate some small talk every once in awhile. If you're like me and you like to be alone and keep to yourself often, be aware that this could be misinterpreted and internalized by someone else in a totally different way.
I also think that those who feel invisible because they don't have such advantages should try to understand that most native English speakers don't get what it is like to feel generally unconfident or embarrassed due to language proficiency (unless they've had a corresponding experience themselves). If it seems like they disapprove of your English skills because they aren't saying hello or indicating they want to talk to you, they are just shy or clueless and it has nothing to do with your language abilities. It might get a bit tiring trying to communicate, but we are never blaming the non-native speaker for not trying hard enough at learning English in school - many Americans feel inadequate because we aren't forced to learn second and third languages from elementary school on, and therefore we don't feel like we are in a position to judge your second/third/fourth language. We think you're the impressive ones for being multilingual, and we pay almost no attention to your mistakes. If we do notice them, we never connect them to you as a person, though we're happy to help you improve your English if you like. Therefore, if you want to, don't be afraid to make the first move and say hello either, even if we have a stony, lifeless default face (I've been told this is mine). :-)
The linguistic aspect is just a general influence that others and I have observed not only socially in that those with good English appear to gain recognition more easily and quickly, but psychologically in that it is often internalized by both sides. While people with these advantages are less conscious of this power imbalance, it seems self-evident that more social recognition could reinforce higher self-confidence, cyclically reinforcing a higher social status (everyone knows how effective self-confidence is socially). [Exceptions come to mind here already though, as not everyone enjoys a lot of social recognition, many are most comfortable with a certain limited/balanced amount, and some even react adversely to it]. On the other hand, those non-native speakers who think that their English is not up to par often feel generally embarrassed about this fact, especially when talking to native speakers. In fact, I've been told that being nervous about one's English-speaking makes it even more difficult to speak it, becoming a vicious cycle of inadequacy and causing them to withdraw and make less of an effort to socialize. Thus, this internalization only reinforces lesser visibility. It was almost impossible to convince my friend (who was afraid of approaching an American friend of mine) that we pay very little attention to English mistakes and see nothing embarrassing or shameful about them - in fact, we enjoy accents and different ways of saying things.
These issues may be stronger during an initial phase of getting acquainted, and might fade a bit as people get to know each other over time and feel more comfortable opening up. However, I don't think they disappear completely, and I think that those who have such advantages should try to be more conscious of this power imbalance (it's easy not to recognize if it's not a problem for you). One thing I learned to do early on is always speak clearly and bit slower (especially in class when people don't have the opportunity to stop you as easily). It also helps to be approachable and welcoming by recognizing others - say hello, make the first move and initiate some small talk every once in awhile. If you're like me and you like to be alone and keep to yourself often, be aware that this could be misinterpreted and internalized by someone else in a totally different way.
I also think that those who feel invisible because they don't have such advantages should try to understand that most native English speakers don't get what it is like to feel generally unconfident or embarrassed due to language proficiency (unless they've had a corresponding experience themselves). If it seems like they disapprove of your English skills because they aren't saying hello or indicating they want to talk to you, they are just shy or clueless and it has nothing to do with your language abilities. It might get a bit tiring trying to communicate, but we are never blaming the non-native speaker for not trying hard enough at learning English in school - many Americans feel inadequate because we aren't forced to learn second and third languages from elementary school on, and therefore we don't feel like we are in a position to judge your second/third/fourth language. We think you're the impressive ones for being multilingual, and we pay almost no attention to your mistakes. If we do notice them, we never connect them to you as a person, though we're happy to help you improve your English if you like. Therefore, if you want to, don't be afraid to make the first move and say hello either, even if we have a stony, lifeless default face (I've been told this is mine). :-)
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Things I miss about America
Well the winter here has not been very cold (from my experience), but it has been long, and the ground has been more or less covered in thick, solid ice since November. I think I've developed weird new muscles from walking on it. Sometimes certain sidewalks are miraculously clear, and I was told that they take a blowtorch to it at night - apparently one of my course-mates saw a fire guy in action around 2 am. Anyway, I hear Spring is marvelous, with nonstop pagan-ish festivals throughout May and June. I can't wait, as I've been slogging through each slow day exhausted by my environment in all respects (physical, social, academic, etc). In the spirit of wanting to come home, I decided to make a list of the things that I miss.
1. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. It truly is the cheesiest.
2. Mexican food!
3. "Home people" - those friends and family with whom I don't have to think about how to say things/how they will interpret me. I'm tired of feeling self-consious and engaging reflexively, and I miss simply being.
4. Social laxity. Cultures this side of the Atlantic tend to have stricter rules (in varying forms and degrees) for how to be polite - or maybe just a higher value for politeness/etiquette than Americans. To give an example, social events generally flow in more specific ways for Russians, including what to offer and when, how long it should last, how to reciprocate the host and more importantly, accept someone's reciprocation, etc. I appreciate it and find it elegant and productive toward building relationships, but I also miss the ease of doing my own thing without the danger of offending someone (such as, telling a visitor that I'd like to be alone now without offering them tea and an hour of my time first). To turn the lens back toward America, we probably look selfish, crass, and/or superficial, but I miss the freedom that comes with this comparative lack of social etiquette.
5. Hardware stores. And more generally, stores that follow stricter paradigmatic organization, instead of products dispersed in seemingly random places.
6. Mountains/more diverse landscape! My heart aches every time I see Colorado friends post their outdoor adventure pictures.
7. Drinking fountains. I've never seen one here and stressed out about it for a few weeks before I grew comfortable using the sink to refill my water bottle.
8. Pizza that is not thin-crust with minimal sauce. To use my dad's description, who resorted to dousing his with ketchup after we failed to communicate to our waitress what we meant by more sauce, it tastes like cardboard. Even Little Caesar's sounds amazing right now.
9. Bathrooms in grocery stores. Doesn't happen here, though it is much easier to enter restaurants/cafes and use theirs without buying anything.
10. Brownies, and soft chocolate chip cookies. Soft any cookies. Things either crunch, crisp, flake, or crumble here, reminding me of my Dutch grandma's style of cookies that divided our family into crunchy vs. chewy lovers and created an ever-surfacing war over how long to bake the cookies. Dad vs. Mom style - symbolically, Europe vs. America.
11. Greater variety of grocery store ice cream. I particularly miss ice cream with candy in it, like snickers or oreos. I miss chocolate milkshakes too, and reeses peanut butter cups.
12. Good beer. Particularly IPA's! There are a couple here, but they are expensive.
13. That Colorado sun. It's out there all winter!
I know that when I return to America, there will be many things I will miss about Tartu, including the wealth of diversity it attracts through its ample academic opportunities. My roommate is Russian and I've been learning a lot about their habits, but she was born and raised in Riga, so she shows me Latvian traditions, too. Most of my friends are international. Wherever these things originate from, here are a few that I anticipate missing when I leave this special place:
1. Trashcans on every block. They are everywhere. If you want to litter, you have to try pretty hard.
2. Not feeling compelled to respond or engage with people. Silence can be liberating! So can chugging along alone.
3. Wifi everywhere, of course, including on the busses. It's the claim-to-fame here, along with the fact that Estonia invented Skype. :)
4. Believing that the food I'm eating is generally healthier and less processed. High fructose corn syrup is illegal here.
5. The clocktower bell music and generally happy atmosphere of the town square.
6. Cloak rooms in all the school buildings. The library rule of leaving your coat with the cloak-tender (might that be what they're called?).
7. The subtly beautiful skies, and sky dynamics - the long gray periods make the sunny days more awesome and glorious. Also, I started to notice variations in the grayness - degrees of translucence and consistency, different colors.
8. Tea time with friends/the more official social gatherings in which it is important for everyone to be at an equal level - where people don't divide into small groups but always sit in a congenial circle with equal access to everything. A positive aspect of the stricter social behavioral rules is the prevention of social hierarchies - for example, hazing/initiation, whether explicit or implicit in various social circles via differential treatment, is nonexistent here.
9. The ability to buy alcohol in any grocery store and lack of liquor stores - this is more relevant in comparison to Colorado than Indiana (having different liquor laws). It saves time and extra trips. A benefit of the dispersed products I complained about earlier.
10. Lots of different foods here, oh gosh - persimmons (has anyone from America tried this incredible fruit?), big amazing mandarin oranges (a major feature of Christmas in many traditions), prjaniki, much better quality chocolate (American chocolate just tastes waxy now and is totally ruined), the fresh-baked croissants/other flaky things in the grocery stores including pirukas (with sweet or savory fillings), pelmeenid (modeled off of Georgian dumplings with juicy meat inside), black pepper cookies (similar to gingerbread but better), these small chocolate-covered bars made out of some milk product tasting similar to cheesecake but not as sweet.. the list goes on.
11. Some WHO study announced recently that Estonia has the cleanest air, so my body will probably miss that. http://www.greenconduct.com/news/2011/09/28/cleanest-air-in-the-world-who-ranks-the-best-and-worst-places/
12. Those amazing old Estonian ladies who trudge onward through the bitter cold, not breaking their path for anything and looking like the toughest, most peaceful veterans of winter I've ever seen.
13. All the new concepts and ways of looking at the world that are produced by the self-conscious, reflexive intercultural/interpersonal interactions. The learning that happens when I'm exposed.
Well now that I've sort of illustrated my love-hate relationship with this experience, I think I'll call it a night.
sigh
1. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. It truly is the cheesiest.
2. Mexican food!
3. "Home people" - those friends and family with whom I don't have to think about how to say things/how they will interpret me. I'm tired of feeling self-consious and engaging reflexively, and I miss simply being.
4. Social laxity. Cultures this side of the Atlantic tend to have stricter rules (in varying forms and degrees) for how to be polite - or maybe just a higher value for politeness/etiquette than Americans. To give an example, social events generally flow in more specific ways for Russians, including what to offer and when, how long it should last, how to reciprocate the host and more importantly, accept someone's reciprocation, etc. I appreciate it and find it elegant and productive toward building relationships, but I also miss the ease of doing my own thing without the danger of offending someone (such as, telling a visitor that I'd like to be alone now without offering them tea and an hour of my time first). To turn the lens back toward America, we probably look selfish, crass, and/or superficial, but I miss the freedom that comes with this comparative lack of social etiquette.
5. Hardware stores. And more generally, stores that follow stricter paradigmatic organization, instead of products dispersed in seemingly random places.
6. Mountains/more diverse landscape! My heart aches every time I see Colorado friends post their outdoor adventure pictures.
7. Drinking fountains. I've never seen one here and stressed out about it for a few weeks before I grew comfortable using the sink to refill my water bottle.
8. Pizza that is not thin-crust with minimal sauce. To use my dad's description, who resorted to dousing his with ketchup after we failed to communicate to our waitress what we meant by more sauce, it tastes like cardboard. Even Little Caesar's sounds amazing right now.
9. Bathrooms in grocery stores. Doesn't happen here, though it is much easier to enter restaurants/cafes and use theirs without buying anything.
10. Brownies, and soft chocolate chip cookies. Soft any cookies. Things either crunch, crisp, flake, or crumble here, reminding me of my Dutch grandma's style of cookies that divided our family into crunchy vs. chewy lovers and created an ever-surfacing war over how long to bake the cookies. Dad vs. Mom style - symbolically, Europe vs. America.
11. Greater variety of grocery store ice cream. I particularly miss ice cream with candy in it, like snickers or oreos. I miss chocolate milkshakes too, and reeses peanut butter cups.
12. Good beer. Particularly IPA's! There are a couple here, but they are expensive.
13. That Colorado sun. It's out there all winter!
I know that when I return to America, there will be many things I will miss about Tartu, including the wealth of diversity it attracts through its ample academic opportunities. My roommate is Russian and I've been learning a lot about their habits, but she was born and raised in Riga, so she shows me Latvian traditions, too. Most of my friends are international. Wherever these things originate from, here are a few that I anticipate missing when I leave this special place:
1. Trashcans on every block. They are everywhere. If you want to litter, you have to try pretty hard.
2. Not feeling compelled to respond or engage with people. Silence can be liberating! So can chugging along alone.
3. Wifi everywhere, of course, including on the busses. It's the claim-to-fame here, along with the fact that Estonia invented Skype. :)
4. Believing that the food I'm eating is generally healthier and less processed. High fructose corn syrup is illegal here.
5. The clocktower bell music and generally happy atmosphere of the town square.
6. Cloak rooms in all the school buildings. The library rule of leaving your coat with the cloak-tender (might that be what they're called?).
7. The subtly beautiful skies, and sky dynamics - the long gray periods make the sunny days more awesome and glorious. Also, I started to notice variations in the grayness - degrees of translucence and consistency, different colors.
8. Tea time with friends/the more official social gatherings in which it is important for everyone to be at an equal level - where people don't divide into small groups but always sit in a congenial circle with equal access to everything. A positive aspect of the stricter social behavioral rules is the prevention of social hierarchies - for example, hazing/initiation, whether explicit or implicit in various social circles via differential treatment, is nonexistent here.
9. The ability to buy alcohol in any grocery store and lack of liquor stores - this is more relevant in comparison to Colorado than Indiana (having different liquor laws). It saves time and extra trips. A benefit of the dispersed products I complained about earlier.
10. Lots of different foods here, oh gosh - persimmons (has anyone from America tried this incredible fruit?), big amazing mandarin oranges (a major feature of Christmas in many traditions), prjaniki, much better quality chocolate (American chocolate just tastes waxy now and is totally ruined), the fresh-baked croissants/other flaky things in the grocery stores including pirukas (with sweet or savory fillings), pelmeenid (modeled off of Georgian dumplings with juicy meat inside), black pepper cookies (similar to gingerbread but better), these small chocolate-covered bars made out of some milk product tasting similar to cheesecake but not as sweet.. the list goes on.
11. Some WHO study announced recently that Estonia has the cleanest air, so my body will probably miss that. http://www.greenconduct.com/news/2011/09/28/cleanest-air-in-the-world-who-ranks-the-best-and-worst-places/
12. Those amazing old Estonian ladies who trudge onward through the bitter cold, not breaking their path for anything and looking like the toughest, most peaceful veterans of winter I've ever seen.
13. All the new concepts and ways of looking at the world that are produced by the self-conscious, reflexive intercultural/interpersonal interactions. The learning that happens when I'm exposed.
Well now that I've sort of illustrated my love-hate relationship with this experience, I think I'll call it a night.
sigh
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