Some things I'm grateful for

In no particular order...

The sun today.

My incredible boyfriend, who continually surprises me with how sweet, as well as how strange, he is. Plus he has magnificent hair - behold the fluff! We're dreaming of an exciting future with two dogs and a worm farm in Europe. :D Don't know what a worm farm is? Well gts (google that shit).

Tartu's Christmas spirit, which permeates all aspects of life. They go all out for at least a month with decorations, closing shops early, fireworks, Christmas markets, etc. If you're craving more deets, check out this description of Estonian Christmas and their mystical/pagan take on it! http://estonia.eu/about-estonia/culture-a-science/christmas-customs-in-estonia.html. As my friend Derek pointed out (also from America), it's kinda funny because Estonia has been named the least religious country in the world, and there is zero political controversy over this nationwide celebration (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14635021). An Estonian friend told me that they are atheist not by making an active decision to disbelieve in God, but by simply not caring. Some notion of "God" is not an issue to be debated for most Estonians. They are only atheist when confronted with the question, which they don't consider important, so the category of atheism is misleading. (Christmas pictures by Allison Ducker, a student here from Alaska)

My dad coming here for two weeks over Christmas and New Years!!! He loves me more than I can comprehend.

My best friend, John, who understands me very well, and shares many of my struggles. He won't let me put a picture of him on here. I don't know what I'd do without his friendship - I always feel better after we skype. He is also sending me an enormous Christmas package full of practical items and treats, including my favorite cereal, Life! Even after he got hungry and ate the first box of Life he bought me! :D

The marvelous diversity of Tartu semioticians - you can't get much weirder than this group, and each individual deserves an entire blog about their personal stories and quirks.

A wonderful blog called Making Sense of Things, which inspired to me to make this list today. (http://www.facebook.com/MakingSenseOfThings)

MY SISTER! We are extensions of each other, though she has much better hair and a sharper wit (that I am really good at taking credit for, because I have the louder voice).

My lovely roommate, Tatjana. She is very kind, with a quiet, yet profound intelligence and an earnest striving for all things pure and good. She teaches me about Russian culture, and is the one who introduced me to the integral nature of tea (and prjaniki!). She loves Japanese cartoons, so we watched a movie called Howl's Castle one night. Has anyone ever watched a Japanese cartoon all the way through? Talk about a completely foreign story line/philosophy. I loved it!

My former 4th floor flatmates, who are all so fun and sweet! We laughed a lot together. We were 1 American, 2 Germans, and 3 Georgians. They even threw me a "moving out" party, surprising me with hamburgers, cake, and flowers! I sure miss them. <3

Adventure time! Thank you for introducing me to this delightful cartoon, Derek and Ana (two second year Master's students in semiotics). I watch this so often it's embarrassing - even between classes.

My favorite professor of all time, Myrdene Anderson. She introduced me to semiotics and Tartu. She has thoughtfully responded to many an email, and never fails to richter my world. Picture from: http://www.cla.purdue.edu/linguistics/directory/?p=Myrdene_Anderson

This opportunity to study what I love and experience a new culture at the same time. Both aspects are very challenging right now, and I'm grateful for that, too. This picture is from my former roommate, Kerstin Zimmerman, who is fantastic. We got along really well, and I love her sense of humor!

And finally, all of my friends and family back home who check in with me, read my blog, send me emails, skype with me, etc. Your acknowledgement helps lift my feelings of isolation and alienation, and it reminds me that I am loved. :) Thank you! My love and appreciation for you only grow as I clumsily orient life over here.

I bet you've all been wondering what Estonia is like.

Only a ferry's ride away from Helsinki, Finland, broadsided by Russia, and the northernmost of the Baltic states, Estonia is a unique intersection, both culturally and geographically. It is often referred to as the bridge between the east and the west. Many wars have been fought on its grounds, and it has changed many hands since the 13th century. If you are interested in the history of Estonia, I highly recommend the documentary, "The Singing Revolution," describing the people's most recent journey through Soviet (& for a short time, Nazi) occupation up to singing their independence back in 1988-91. Despite its turbulent history and small population (only 1.3 million!), Estonia has an enduring, distinct ethos that is powerful in a different way than I am accustomed to. At the beginning of "The Singing Revolution," they describe the Estonian fairy tale hero in contrast with typical Western heroes. The latter tend to be bold, fearless young men who take on things much larger than themselves, slaying dragons with swords. The Estonian hero is a patient old man who waits calmly and quietly for the perfect moment to act; a reserved, cautious intellectual.

Based on my very short time here, I would characterize Estonia(ns) as subtle. I've heard several international students describe the landscape as flat, which is a fair approximation. In fact, it looks a lot like Indiana. But with the help of both local and other international perspectives, and a couple of trips throughout the small country, I am beginning to see its subtle diversity. Slight, wavy changes in topography, a dispersed population of scattered homes and small towns with local peculiarities, and the numerous shades of blue, silver, and gold that move across the sky produce a modest beauty. Pockets of depth sit quietly throughout the country, some of which I visited on a biosemiotics field trip. For example, we hiked through a healthy bog covered with bewildering red moss, strolled along the windy, northern coast underneath ancient limestone cliffs, and explored a chilly soviet mine that retold its painful history. At dusk, we took a detour to a tiny, quiet village called Kuremäe. On top of a dark hill, an old eastern orthodox cathedral burst with candles, detailed decor, and a tight, standing crowd. I stood and enjoyed the warmth, listening to the priests sing in Russian, before our sleepy bus ride home.

Estonians themselves are often described as inexpressive and reserved. They also seem thoughtful, relaxed, genuine, and comfortable with silence. As a fairly neurotic person myself, compulsivity doesn't seem to exist in this culture. They can leave loose-ends, maybe returning to them later, maybe not. Time seems to move a little slower here. There is a joke about why our classes start at a quarter after and not on the hour - to accommodate the pace of the Estonian professors. Their somewhat rough but rhythmic language seems to mirror a uniquely moderate way of life; one that is strong in a level-headed way, both centered and flexible, provocative and gentle.

Some Estonian skies, taken out my bedroom window. Cheers!

My mom

One of my most intense experiences so far in Tartu occurs when I wake up from a nap during which I've been vividly dreaming. Here are some factors that I think are at play:

1. General reality shock common to all transitions from the dream world-->normal consciousness.
2. Nearly everything in the dorm is gray - the walls, the floor, the furniture, the shelves, etc. The foot of my bed faces a large window, which views an overcast sky common to a Baltic Autumn. Thus, I wake up to a very still, gray environment, which stands in sharp contrast to my high-energy dreams.
3. I tend to dream about home, or people from home, unconscious of the fact that I am in Tartu without them.

Waking up is accompanied by acute depression, which usually dissipates as I become active. It is currently taking longer than normal to go away, motivating me to write about it. I think this is due to the nature of my dream, which was about my mom.

I dreamt that I was watching harmless funnel clouds out my bedroom window in Tartu, when my mom walked in and joined me. She tickled me, saying, "Ooo a tornado is going to get you!" I giggled and we fell onto my bed together. She put her arm around me and I put my head on her shoulder, when I suddenly burst into tears. Her teasing had brought me back to childhood for a moment, as if I were experiencing our relationship from that time again. I had forgotten what that felt like, and how safe and bright she seemed.

I love my mom, whose eyes look a little more tired today, and who needs me now, too.

LinguiFUN

A cross-linguistic comparison of rooster calls among friends here in Tartu:

• kikerikii! (Estonian)
• kukko-kiekkuu! (Finnish)
• umqhude! (Xhosa)
• gaggalagó! (Icelandic) 
• cock-a-doodle-doo! (English)
• ku-ka-re-ku! (Russian)
• ü-ürü-üüü! (Turkish)
• chicchiricchi! (Italian)
• kukurikú! (Hungarian)
• kikliko! (Georgian)
• kikeriki! (German)
• quiquiriquí! (Spanish)
• kykkeli-ky! (Danish)
• kukuryku! (Polish)
• ky-ky-pи-ry! (Bulgarian)
• kykyrykýý! (Czech)
• cocara kooo! (Malayalam)

-A video of rooster calls from (respectively) Germany, England, France, China, Senegal, The Netherlands, Japan, Russia, Greece, Kenya, and Turkey: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuNEWFOItT4

-Another fun one (in English) of several animal sounds across cultures: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqztFNjtL8g

-And while we're at it, a whole catalogue of cross-linguistic onomatopoeias: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-linguistic_onomatopoeias

                                                                                                                                                

Two funny facebook conversations. [Please note: I obtained permission to publish these, and did not use actual names]

• Krraka:

hello, Jamie. Do you know the precise deadline for the first assignment on biosemiotics? I remember him saying the middle of October but he might have changed his mind or given the more precise info... Mr? 

[author's note: 'mr' is used with a rolled 'r' and represents a cat's purring. It is used by this colleague in a number of ways, e.g. to get someone's attention, or to express delight, complacency, or surprise]

• Jamie:

I'm not sure, all I know is mid October as well. I'll email him. done. hopefully it's not due this Tuesday or my papers gonna suck

• Krraka:

?????????? Pardon? I'll look up for 'go suck'
oh, mr, obscene translations. Do you mean smth like 'this article will be made up out of whole cloth'?
lingvo dictionary suggests another variant:f.e., 'Characters fuck and suck each other like real people do'
So do you mean let him (teacher) suck?

• Jamie:

hahahahaha! im sorry, suck just means it will be terrible - it will be a bad paper if its due as soon as this tuesday. lol

                                                                                                                                               

• BF:

I have an article that I have chosen, but now I started to panic is it enough? And what does it mean chapter? Is it one article or a set of articles?? Because I only have one))  

• Jamie:

it's okay, it just means one article! if you click on biosemiotics, i believe it is in the link study materials, but i will double check

yep, just click study materials and it is in the list..EssentialReadingsinBiosemiotics.pdf :)

• BF:

Uf, you are my saver from self-killing.

                                                                                                                                                

A new concept (invented by Krraka):

• cultural harassment: The persistent advances made by non-native English speakers to hang out with native English speakers to improve their English. This can result in a number of negative effects on the native English speakers, such as social exhaustion, or delusions of grandeur. 
• An epiphenomenon can occur when a non-native English speaker has the genuine intention to do a favor for a native English speaker, but worries that it may be considered imposing, with the ulterior motive to improve his or her English. 

Fun new terms:

• destroyer: a consistently negative person; a debbie-downer 
• shoe snares: shoe laces
• pan hat: cover or lid
• lonely places: isolated, sketchy areas such as a dark alleyway, abandoned building, etc.

                                                                                                                                               

Miscellaneous anecdote: An English (language) teacher told his German students that if they want to sound like the American accent, speak as if they had a big piece of food in their mouths. An example was given where Germans tend to say 'executive' with emphasis on the 'cut' syllable, as if they are saying 'execute' with an 'ive' added on. If you say 'executive' while pretending there is a bunch of food in your mouth, you can see how this may help them overcome this tendency.

                                                                                                                                                  

Thank you to all contributors! This was fun, and is open to updates :)

keepin' tabs

пряники (prjaniki)

Favorite new treat: Russian "gingerbreads."Prjaniki are a traditional cookie extending all the way back to the ancient Slavonic tribes! They used honey back then, before sugar was around. Today they still make some with honey, called medovije prjaniki (honey gingerbreads). I like the kind with fruity jam inside (below).

Blogging: maybe and if so, half-assedly.

I'm considering writing a blog about my experiences in Tartu, Estonia. Because this task seems daunting and stressful, I have to establish some blogging principles:

1) The principle of non-commitment: I can bail at any time, including after this first entry.
2) The principle of irregularity: There will be no coherent system or logic to this blog, unless it emerges spontaneously.
3) The principle of inaesthetics: I may indefinitely avoid choosing a pretty layout or uploading any pictures.

Whew, that was a lot. I need to wind down with some tea now. Speaking of tea, it has become an integral part of my life since I moved here, integral in the sense of being responsible for holding the rest of my life together. Here's what was on the top of the list after googling "integral definition."

in·te·gral/ˈintigrəl/

Adjective:	Necessary to make complete; essential or fundamental: "integral sections".
Noun:	A function of which a given function is the derivative, i.e., which yields that function when differentiated, and which may express the...
Synonyms:	whole - complete - entire - total - full - integrant

I also have a favorite mug that gives me a sense of home. I found it in the dorm when I moved in and claimed it immediately. I am so afraid of losing it to flatmates that it stays in my room on my desk at all times. I provided a picture. It says "vitamin"and it's bright yellow on the inside, which is the best part, but it has tea in it right now.

Thanks for reading. I might write about Tartu sometime.